Attendants Part Two

Keeping Everyone up to Speed

One of the most important responsibilities for the bride and groom is to keep all your attendants informed. Communication is key (I always love that saying) to a well planned wedding and all the members of your wedding party need updates, especially about any changes that will affect them. Don't overload family and friends with details, but do maintain regular contact and be particularly attentive to wedding-party members who live elsewhere. Write, phone, email or establish a wedding web site. Keeping you attendants informed helps everyone stay organized. It also allows members of the wedding party to become informally acquainted. Important information such as:

*A list of names, addresses and phone numbers of the wedding party

*The dates and times of parties and showers attendants will be invited to

*The rehearsal time and place

*Rehearsal Dinner arrangements

*Where they will stay

*The dress code for different wedding events

*Reminders to bridesmaids and ushers to break in their shoes

*Any plans for breakfast, lunch, or tea before or after the wedding

*Where they will dress

*The time and place for any pre-wedding photos

*Transportation arrangements to the ceremony and reception

Attendants Duties and Responsibilities

Although attendants' duties will vary based on the size and style of the wedding, there are tasks common to most weddings. The list below details the basic responsibilities of all adult attendants. It is followed by specifics for each type of attendant, including children.

*Pay for their wedding attire and accessories (excluding flowers)

*Arrange and pay for their own transportation, unless provided by the wedding couple

*Attend prenuptial events

*Give an individual gift to the couple or contribute to a group gift from the attendants

*Understand specific duties and follow instructions

*Arrive at specified times for all wedding related events

*Assist the bride and groom

*Be attentive to other guests at the wedding and reception

Maid or Matron of Honor

*Helps the bride select the bridesmaid's attire

* Helps address invitations and place cards

*Organizes the bridesmaids' gift to the bride and often organizes the bridesmaids' luncheon if there is one

*Holds the groom's wedding ring and the bride's bouquet during the ceremony

*Witnesses the signing of the marriage certificate

*Helps the bride during the reception (gathering guests for cake cutting, dancing, etc.)

*Helps the bride change into her going-away clothes and takes care of the bride's wedding dress and accessories after the reception

Best Man

*Organizes the bachelor party for the groom if there is one

*Coordinates the groomsmen and usher's gift to the bride and groom or gives an individual gift to the couple

*Makes sure that the groom's wedding-related payments are prepared; delivers prearranged payments to officiants, assistants, and musicians and singers at the ceremony

*Sees that the groomsmen and ushers arrive on time and are properly attired

*Instructs the ushers in the correct seating of guests (If there is no head usher)

*Keeps the bride's wedding ring during the ceremony

*Witnesses the signing of the marriage certificate

*Drives the bride and groom to the reception if there's no hired driver; has the car ready for the couple to leave after the reception and may drive them to their next destination

*Offers the first toast to the couple at the reception

*Gathers and takes care of the groom's wedding clothes (returning rental items on the next business day)

Enjoy and I certainly hope this is useful, learned a few things myself with this one.

Attendants Part One

Attendants add joy and significance to your wedding. Including friends and loved ones in the exciting time. Wedding attendants or ushers, are chosen as witnesses to a couple's matrimonial union in gesture of love, friendship, and support.

Choosing attendants is easy-sisters, brothers, and dear friends. But if you have a large family or a wide circle of good friends, the decision can be challenging. Keep in mind that this is your wedding, you are not required to ask siblings, although it does facilitate family unity. You can choose one best friend over another to be maid of honor or best man, but you may risk causing a break that is difficult to mend.

I am happy that etiquette has kept up with the times, and today's couples have many options for organizing their wedding parties and choosing their attendants.

New Rules for Wedding Attendants

-There is no required number of attendants. The average number of attendants is four to six bridesmaids and at least as many groomsmen and ushers, but again it is your wedding and you can include as many or as few as you like. Some have a large number of attendants, but you can still have a formal wedding with just one or two attendants on each side and that would be perfectly acceptable. Since ushers have the responsibility of seating guests at the ceremony, the general rule to follow is one usher for every fifty guests. But again it is your wedding and you can have more if you want.

-You do not have to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen/ushers. Don't worry about pairing up. You can have more bridesmaids than groomsmen and visa versa. It is best not to alienate a good friend or family member for the sake of symmetry. One groomsmen can easily escort two bridesmaids in the recessional or bridesmaids can walk alone or in pairs.

-You can have two maids of honor, a maid and a matron of honor, or two best men. If you can't decide between siblings or very close friends have two. The attendants share duties- for example one maid of honor holds the groom's ring, while the other takes the bridal bouquet.

-Brides and grooms can have attendants of the opposite sex. Honor attendant is another, more modern term for attendant of the opposite sex. Today many brides and grooms seek to pay tribute to their closest friends or brothers and sisters by including them in the bridal party in this unique way. Honor attendants perform same duties as the maid of honor, best man, bridesmaid, or groomsman position. that they represent, although some responsibilities are obviously altered, a male honor attendant would not help the bride get dressed.

I will carry this blog entry into a part two and discuss the duties and responsibilities of each attendant. Remember to click on follow to become a follower of my blog.

Clay

Bridesmaids' Luncheon

Okay so I get a few new books for research and I am going crazy I know, and yes this is another blog today. I love reading and learning and sometimes just remembering what I had forgotten about this Wedding Industry that I love so much.

So I want to talk about the Bridesmaids' Luncheon. This is something that is very traditional and very intimate. It is a time for the bride, her mother, and the bridesmaids to get together for a "Farewell" luncheon or maybe a tea or dinner for the bride, either in addition to a shower or instead of a shower.

This luncheon usually takes place very close to the wedding date, particularly if bridesmaids live in different places and will be arriving only for the wedding celebrations.

It is often the bride and her mother that host this luncheon, but a close friend or family member may also host. Just as a sort of time to relax and enjoy each other in the midst of a busy time- and as a thank-you to the attendants for their presence and support. Others that you may want to include in this luncheon should be limited Mother of Groom and Grandparents. This is not typically a party for anyone other than the bride, her mother and her bridesmaids.

A bridesmaids' luncheon is a little different from any other lunch party. The table may be more elaborately decorated and the linens are often white or the bride's chosen wedding colors. This luncheon is the perfect time for the bride to give her bridesmaids their individual gifts, personally thanking them for being a part of her wedding. For the bride and attendants who work during the day, a more convenient get-together may be after work, at a small cocktail party or intimate dinner. Another great venue could be a day spa, where they all could share a pre wedding pampering.

If you are a bride or just even if you know someone that is getting married, become a follower of this blog and also become a fan of Steven Clay Wedding and Event Designs on facebook.

Clay

The Engagement Party

An engagement is definitely something to celebrate, and a party may be the perfect way for family and friends to toast the fortunate couple. Today's engagement parties may be as formal or informal as you like-and are by no means mandatory.



The Hosts:



The bride-to-be's parents usually host the engagement party, but any family or friend may do so. When families live in different parts of the country, the parents of the bride and groom might each host parties in their hometowns-alternative to the more traditional post honey-moon party given by the groom's family to honor their new daughter in law.



What kind of Party:



Cocktail parties and dinners are popular, but there is no standard party format. Sometimes, engagements are announced a surprise parties. From a casual brunch to a formal reception there are many possibilities. Whatever suits the couple and the guests is just fine.



The Guests:



Generally the guest list is limited to the couple;s relatives and good friends. It can be as short or as lengthy as you want and can comfortably accommodate. However it's poor taste to invite anyone to an engagement party who will not be on the wedding guest list.



Invitations:



Written or printed invitations are normally sent, but for an intimate gathering phoned invitations are acceptable.

The Announcement:

Whether the news will be a surprise or is already known among the guests, the host, usually the bride's father, traditionally makes the "Official" announcement and leads a toast to the couple.

Gifts and thanks:

If gifts are given by everyone, the couple might open them at the party, if there's time, and express their appreciation personally. Note however, that written thank-yous are required even if the couple has thanked the givers directly. Handwritten thank-yous are also a must if a couple receives gifts later, such as after an announcement appears in the newspaper.

Newspaper Annoucements

You have told all your friends and family about your Engagement, now it is time to submit an engagement announcement to the newspaper. Because it is inappropriate to send printed engagement announcements, some couples make their announcements public through the newspaper, and I guess it goes with out saying that you should never make a announcement of your wedding if either of you are still legally married to someone else, yes even if you are separated. Nor is a public announcement appropriate when there has recently been a death in either family or when a member of the immediate family is desperately ill.



If you want to announce your engagement in print, the first step is to contact the appropriate department of the newspaper. Most newspapers provide information forms to complete. If you do submit your own announcement the newspaper will call to check the accuracy.



Generally, an engagement announcement appears two or three months before the wedding date, though this isn't a hard-and-fast rule. The information is submitted several weeks in advance. Couples often haven't set the date when an announcement appears. If you delay contacting the publication until the last minute, however, the paper may not be able to accommodate you.

Most announcements are brief and follow a format similar to the one below. But some papers use an informal style, include more information, and may ask to interview couples about the details of their courtship and engagement.

Traditionally, the parents of the bride to be make the announcement. The basic wording includes full names, professional titles, city and state of residence if not the same as the hometown of the newspaper, highest level of education of the couple. and their current employment.

Basic Wording

Mr. and Mrs. Allen Perry of Port St. Joe, Florida announce the engagement of their daughter, Jane Ellen Perry, to William Paul Smith, Jr., son of Dr. and Mrs. William Paul Smith of Panama City, Florida. A September wedding is planned.

Miss Perry, a graduate of Florida State University Nursing School, is a physical therapist with Tallahassee Memorial Hospital in Tallahassee, Florida. Mr. Smith a graduate of Florida State University and is employed as a loan manager with Sun Trust Bank of Tallahassee.

When Parents are Divorced. . .

Divorced parents are listed as individuals, by their current legal names and places of residence, and never as a couple. If the bride's parents are divorced, the mother usually makes the announcement, though the father may do so if he is the custodial parent.

Ms. Martine Cousins of Panama City, Florida, announces the engagement of her daughter, Sarah Louise Baker, to . . . Miss Baker is also the daughter of Mr. Albert Baker of Boulder.

When the groom's parents are divorced, the announcement follows this pattern:

Mr. and Mrs. Lamar Hughes announce the engagement of their daughter, Caroline Hughes, to Justine Marc DuBois, son of Mrs. Thomas Shelton of Atlanta, Georgia and Mr. Jean Marc DuBois of Panama City, Florida.

When the parents of both the bride and groom are divorced, the usual form is:

Mrs. Walter Murray announces the engagement of her daughter Elizabeth Leigh Considine, to John Carter Lowndes, son of Mrs. Harriet Lowndes of Panama City, Florida and Mr. Houston Lowndes of Palmetto, California. Miss Coonsidine is also the daughter of Mr. Horace Considine of Melbourne, Florida.

A stepparent is not usually included in a formal announcement unless he or she is an adoptive parent or the natural parent is not part of the bride or groom's life.

When Divorced Parents Make a Joint Announcement

Divorced parents of the bride to be may want to make the announcement together. Both are listed by their current legal names (whether or not they have married again) and places of residence:

Mrs. Walter Murray of Pensacola, Florida, and Mr. Horace Considine of Melbourne, Florida, announce the engagement of their daughter, Elizabeth Leigh Considine, to . . .

When a Parent is Deceased. . .

When one of the bride's parents is deceased, the surviving parent makes the announcement:

Mr. Gerald Davis Brown announces the engagement of his daughter, Leslie Brown, to . . . Miss Brown is also the daughter of the late Marie Compton Brown.

When a parent of the groom is deceased, this form is generally followed:

Mr. and Mrs. Gerald Davis Brown announce the engagement of their daughter Leslie Brown, to Peter Love, son of Mrs. Benjamin Love and the late Mr. Love (or when the mother is deceased: Mr. Benjamin Love and the late Mrs. Love or Katherine Boyd Love).

If both the bride's parents are deceased, a close family member or members may make the announcement.

Mr. and Mrs. Seth Davis announce the engagement of their granddaughter, Cynthia Davis to . . . Miss Davis is the daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Fredrick Davis (or the late Fredrick and Margaret James Davis).

I know that this is a lot in information, and I hope that it is helpful to you. If you have a unique situation that is not covered in this blog, please email me stevenclaydesigns@fairpoint.net and I will be happy to help.

Clay

What about the Men?

So much time is spent on the Female Attire for weddings, well what about the Men? Don't they need to look good. So many times I hear "I really don't care what the men wear". Here's the deal, guys you do have options for what you want to wear.

Be it formal or be it informal there are many options for you guys. Guys have style too and don't be afraid to show that. Here are some options along with some of my own personal opinions which you can take those or leave them.

-Coat and Tails- For the most formality in a daytime affair; it is coat and tails- Pinstripe pants, cutaway jacket with tails. crisp white shirt and a vest and white necktie.

-Tone on Tone- This look is more for people that are afraid of a little more trendier look, just a notch up on a classic. This happens to be my favorite way to wear formal wear. Take a black Tuxedo or Suit pair it with a black shirt and black tie. This is a very elegant and handsome look for any wedding.

If the style of your wedding is more informal than formal here are a couple of suggestions for you.

-All White. A great look for a Beach Wedding. A white linen shirt and white linen pants. A very clean, crisp, look. I prefer shirts that can be tucked in as opposed to wearing untucked. I like to pair this look up with a black or brown belt and coordinating flip flops.

-Classic and Timeless- A great tailored look is achieved by wearing a classic navy suit and a crisp white shirt and a Silver Satin Tie. This look never fades and just a great classic look for any wedding.

-Beach Casual- There are many options for the beach wedding. You can do a tan suit, seer sucker suit, linen suit or just a pair of linen pants and a white cotton shirt. Just because it is on the beach does not mean that your shirts have to be untucked and relaxed, it is still a wedding after all. Keep in mind that wearing a necktie in a beach wedding is inappropriate.

Come by Steven Clay Designs and look through our Tuxedo and Suit rentals provided by Tuxedo Source in Panama City and let us help you.

Clay

The Art of the Boutonniere

The boutonniere is all about the details-a single gorgeous bloom, the right shade of silk ribbon, to bind the flower, a pearl button to secure it. The key is for it to appear masculine while also complementing the bride. So look for small flowers with a big presence. On a practical note, I suggest that every groom's boutonniere should be made twice-One to be worn during the ceremony and through the majority of the reception. After hugging a few hundred people, the blossoms will inevitably be battered and bruised. So the newly married man should don the second, crisp new stand-in (which should be stored under the cake table, so everyone knows where to find it) right before the couple cuts the cake and makes their toasts. What could be more 007 than to still be wearing a fresh-looking boutonniere as the dawn breaks?

Please always feel free to send any questions you have to www.stevenclaydesigns@fairpoint .net
and please check out our Website, www.stevenclayweddingandeventdesigns.com

Clay